Customer Service

Do you ever notice how customer service sucks, but companies still manage to stay in business? How the heck do they do that? It beats the hell outta me, I’ll tell ya. Why do you deserve to be in business if you don’t do the right thing by your customer? You don’t, as far as I’m concerned. How do you fight back? Don’t be a customer at that establishment. These days we have the power of reviews, Yelp, for example, to let our true opinions be known and count for something. This simply wasn’t an option in the old days; my, how things have changed.

It never ceases to amaze me, the experiences that I have when I go out—from poor value to unknowledgeable employees and simply indifferent attitudes.

It’s also startling that so many customers are willing to put up with this crap as part of the deal.

I like my burgers medium and I mean medium, medium. I rarely get them that way anywhere I go, whether it’s a ten-dollar burger or an eighteen-dollar burger. You’d figure that the chef who makes these each and every day would have this down to an exact science, but no, that’s not the way it works. Do I send the burger back ever? No way, I don’t want them messing with my food in the kitchen, so I suck it up and stick with it. However, why should I not get what I pay for?

The supermarket deli counter is another irritating experience on many occasions. Most of the employees working those slicers have a look on their faces like they’d rather be anywhere else on the planet than serving your ass behind the counter. They also seem to have a very low capacity for retention. I often have to repeat my order three times: “Can I get a quarter pound of low sodium ham, turkey and pastrami please?” By the time the guy turns around to get the first item, he’s already forgotten the other two and comes back to ask me twice what I had said. It’s not that difficult, bro! Then, when I get the stuff there’s a third or half a pound each, running up my grocery bill. I’m not sure whether they’re actually told to do that on purpose or not. Regardless, it’s irritating.

Ah, the bagel store. How could I forget. My entire bagel experience is in the hands of that singular employee. There doesn’t seem to be a standard amount of butter that they’re told to put on a bagel, so they just freestyle it. Now, the butter amount is crucial; it’s going to make or break your breakfast. Too little and you barely get a taste. Too much and you feel like you’re drinking the butter. It’s got to be just right, somewhere mathematically right in the middle, and then that bagel is oh so good.

Same with my drinks at a bar. You’re charging $15 a drink. You better pour it good, because I think it’s only fair that I get my money’s worth. Drinks in New York ain’t cheap. I’m paying. I wanna get sozzled! I always stick with what I know, so it’s either Johnnie Black on the rocks with a splash of soda or A Titos on the rocks with a splash. Never go for shit that they have to mix up, like Bloody Marys because I make those better than any bartender out there. Mixed drinks always result in a mixed bag. Too sweet, too spicy etc. Stick with the basics and always put it on the rocks so you get more bang for your buck.

That’s all I have for today on this.

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